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One time Antoon visited on the understanding he would get some assistance with dressing himself, as recently he underwent surgery in his shoulder.
One morning while half dressed Antoon asked Topy to pull down his jumper, but she was in a hurry to go out to inspect a property with her son. He was left for over an hour in the freezing cold without anything on his chest. On return, she thought nothing of it.
Later Frans (Hanny's husband) commented to Antoon that she is not his servant... such an idiotic thing to say.
Another time when Antoon was with Trudy, he telephoned her to invite her for dinner. She declined.
Once it was thought to be wise to bring Topy along to house inspections...
Until it was discovered that she offered mainly negative criticism. Well, sometimes it was 'awesome'...
But worse of all, habitually talking the prospective buyer out of it (even her own son), only later to be deeply regretted.
Many a bargain had been missed.
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PRIMARY ISSUES ANTOON WANTED TO DISCUSS INCLUDING:
- Being frequently snappy at him
- Starting arguments for no good reason
- Getting angry at him for her own mistakes (photos on website)
- Anything suggested to her is invalidated (also Roland's experience)
- Refusing to use her address for tax office purposes, pending Antoon having own house
- Telling him not to register at any open house ("as it might put the price up for Michael (her son)...")
- Refer to the link to Antoon's letter to Trudy (below), for the full story
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DOWNLOAD ANTOON'S LETTER OF 'COMPLAINTS'
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RECOMMENDED READING:
Click the icon to view a letter from 2011 clearly showing Topy's attitude and also itemises what Antoon wanted to discuss with Topy.
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For Topy to ban Antoon from her life, shows complete contempt for others. Only what 'offends' her is what matters!
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The above letter was basically telling Topy how her behaviour has affected Antoon (and others), and how it affected his life. In an accompanying letter Antoon asked for a discussion about it (which Trudy neglected to take notice of and refused to respond to it).
Instead, Topy only sees it as an attack but fails to see how it has affected Antoon's life. She just banned him from her life.
3 YEARS LATER...
About this time, Trudy suggested an apology to Topy would settle things. So Antoon offered his apologies for the contents of a certain email to Topy. Although she replied that she accepted his apology, it would change nothing as she claimed that Antoon only apologised so he could stay with her when visiting New Zealand (for the records, Antoon had been staying with Trudy). Antoon withdrew his apology.
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From: Catharina Schupbach
Sent: Saturday, May 03, 2014 7:37 PM
To: Toon Verplak
Subject: Re: ANTWOORD A.U.B. (Fw: Peace)
Hallo Toon,
The issue is the initial physical letter, several pages long,you sent to Trudy ( I wonder why) meant for me, in which you attacked and condemned me, my actions, my character in no small measure. Definitely not about a discussion on several matters.
It is up to me how I live my life, what I do, who I associate with etc. If you don't like it that's fine but don't expect me to put up with your insults.
I have no interest in continuing discussing all the crap in your letter.
You even seem to think you can order me when I should answer my mail, see above.
Cats
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The reason "why" was clearly explained in the attached letter to Trudy, which she apparently did not pass on, ignored it and still refuses to acknowledge.
You seem to think it is normal to ignore mail...
Your response is out of order, exaggerated to the extreme. It's all in your crazy mind.
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From: Catharina Schupbach
Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2017 7:04 PM
To: Toon
Hello Toon,
Lets see if we can put an end to this crazy state of affairs.
I'll start with forgiving you for dragging me through the mud in every
way you could think of, in a letter which I received via Trudy.
For no good reason other than that you couldn't cope with the way I am.
The fact is that our relationship was perfectly normal until the Hanny
affair.
There is good and bad in every human being, that includes you and me.
Otherwise we would not be here.
Do you honestly think that Pa would endorse and appreciate what you
are doing?
There is no reason for you to exonerate him. There is also no
justification whatsoever for you to vilify every member of his family
with all its horrifying consequences, especially for the next
generation who carry his name.
Is that the legacy you want for Pa?
Pa was a good and popular man with a forward vision, a great Dad. He
made mistakes, some big ones too, but he acknowledged that towards the
end of his life.
Our mother was also a good woman, she did the best for us she knew how
to and yes for you too, wether you believe that or not.
True, she didn't have much psychological insight, but who did in those
days. Who are we to blame her for that.
Who are we to blame them for anything, haven't we made plenty of
mistakes ourselves??
Before I finish I am imploring you to take that disgusting website off
the internet, never to put it back again.
A lot of damage has been done already.
I am not asking you that for my sake, but for all those who bear the
name of Verplak, children and grandchildren and for that for Pa.
And yes, part of the reason for this e-mail is your website.
I am not bringing up any of the myriad of issues involved, they are
not even important in the grand scheme of life.
I am not interested and sick of all that crap, so I don't intend to
start corresponding. I also have given up receiving visitors.
This is nothing personal, goes for everybody.
Recently I had a stroke, so now I have to adjust my life to the new
reality and act accordingly.
So I wish you well, no grudges.
Topie
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Nice email coming from Topy, but at the same runs him down and uses her typical offensive tone. Point is, nothing has changed and Antoon remains banned. Topy seems to know whatever is in Antoon's head and acts accordingly.
Yes, the biggest mistake Pa made was marrying Ma.
Antoon responded and explained again that "dragging her through the mud" was not remotely on his mind, but itemised the issues that he wanted to discuss as it had affected him to a great extend. No reply, just silence (like Ma).
To Topy it's all crap, but the 'crap' has never been dealt with.
One of the 'crap' items was that she did not make him feel welcome to return to Christchurch resulting in him not proceeding with the purchase of that house (and a great opportunity lost). Antoon could have bought it for NZD 470,000 but is now worth well over NZD 1,500,000).
Topy and others are only concerned about damage to them, but refuse to listen to Antoon about the huge damage that was done to him, and his life. And continues every day but you cannot understand. Totally disinterested.
Antoon knows nothing about whatever Pa acknowledged towards the end of his life. Same as in Ma's 'bidprentje' that Pa and Ma reconciled... nobody mentioned anything to Antoon. In fact he doesn't believe it.
Actually, Antoon does believe that Pa would appreciate this website. It tells the other side to him being labelled "a violent man', as thanks for his hard work and dedication to his family. Of course he should be exonerated.
And why nothing was communicated when Topy had a stroke? Because Antoon does not matter. Same as when Antoon informed Trudy he fell off the roof. Antoon does not matter at all (never did) to either of these ladies.
So, nothing changed on either side. But if one day we can be civilised to each other, changes can happen instantly.
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Why was Antoon never advised at the time of Topy's stroke? Now he still knows nothing. Nobody gives a fuck about each other.
So are you still at home or in a Nursing Home? Or maybe in a Home for the Aged?
After all, you told Antoon that is "only normal"... (hope you enjoy the company of the other Kiwis there... oh wait, you never befriended any).
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For all practical purposes, you are already dead. NOT INTERESTED in the family, NOT INTERESTED in their wellbeing.
Likewise Antoon will not even receive any advise when you give up the ghost... same as with Hanny, Hans and Frans!
Better that day come soon so we won't have to wait for it. On your way out, don't forget to say "Het is goed zo."
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Bidprentje voor Topy
Topy maakte deel uit van een gezin met zes kinderen.
Zij trouwde op 29 januari 1966 te Lecarno Zwitzerland, met Roland Schupbach. Na drie kinderen stuurde ze hem de deur uit. Of hij is vrijwillig de deur uitgegaan, kan ook. Hij was blij om er niet meer te zijn.
Zij maakte ook haar eigen oorlog met iedereen (behalve haar grote zus). In tegenstelling tot Pa en Ma (volgens Ma's bidprentje), zij heeft zich nooit met iemand verzoend.
Al haar kinderen wonen in New Zealand.
Vele uren bracht zij door bij haar oudere zus Trudy.
Haar kinderen kwamen altijd ook op de eerste plaats, blijkende uit het 'helecoptering'.
Tot haar 77ste woonde haar oudste zoon met haar, maar toen kreeg ze een 'beroerte' (stroke) en alles was anders. Maar gelukkig had ze nooit een heup gebroken.
De laatste tijd werd ze steeds meer eigenwijs en maakte ze zich overal druk over. Vooral maar ruzie aanhouden met broers en zussen. Iets vergeven was onmogelijk.
Als we aan Topy denken, denken we aan een nijdige spin. Alles afkammen, overal kwaad over worden.
Topy's laatste woorden waren 'So I wish you well, no grudges' (maar blijf weg).
Onze bijzondere dank gaat uit naar het personeel van de begraafplaats.
Voor alle mensen niet om ons heen, fijn dat jullie er niet waren.
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CHILDHOOD FRIENDS:
Ruth (somewhere in Germany)
Friendship finished in recent years because Topy did not agree with her on certain things
Rikie van de Broek
Sloeg met haar vuist op de ijsco trommel (winkel op de bocht in Berg en Dalseweg)
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Topy was altijd een stuk eigenwijs.
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CHILDREN AND THEIR ACTIVITIES
Yuri (Yuri Alexander Schupbach)
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OCCUPATION:
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Unknown
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SPOUSE:
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Vicky
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GRANDCHILDREN:
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Olivia
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Michael (Michael Antonius Schupbach)
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OCCUPATION:
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IT (Net24 - sold)
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SPOUSE:
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Rachel
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GRANDCHILDREN:
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Unknown
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Nicolai (Nicolai Schupbach)
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OCCUPATION:
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IT (Net24 - sold)
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SPOUSE:
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Topy said: He will marry his pet bird
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GRANDCHILDREN:
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Unknown
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For further reading, click on the home icon (top left) and select another member of the family.
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